offline blues

October 30, 2010

So much stuff stuff happening that each evening when I’ve made it home all I’ve been able to do is huff and puff at my broadband modem to try to get it to go faster.  I’ve been getting speeds of less than 0.002 monkey-nuts,  when I want, expect, even pay for “up to”  9.7831 bananas!  (yes units are in fact mostly irrelevant in the market of ISPs).  But have been too busy to get around to fault tracing to find out if it is my home network or the ISPs broadband modem.

Tonight I finally had enough and put in a call to India… I pressed #1,#2,#2,#3 and then..

“Hi, my magic white box with wires and flashing lights isn’t working”  ….
“yes I have tried switching it off and back on again – I am an IT professional you know”  …
“ok, I’ll wait” … HOLD

I listen to Rio by Duran Duran, followed by ABC’s classic ‘Gold’, I was happily dancing around the room when I was interrupted by..

“could you tell me Mr Lunch, what lights now are appearing on your wired-less modem” …
“I am sending now an update to your wired-less modem” …
…..
“The update didn’t work you seem to have a very slow connection” …  *@!?!!##*&@!
“we will have to send a technician to your address, will you be in when?”

So here I am (again) using a 3G modem – oh well, at least I don’t need to check facebook :-)