I’ve been jellied!

The strangest things happen at night. I don’t blame ‘kids’ or ‘young people nowadays’ or even ‘students, I simply blame alcohol.

You see, a few days ago (Friday or Saturday night) a plastic table looking thing appeared in the common grass area that runs down the middle of the street. I didn’t pay much attention to this as random items like this tend to be moved from place to place by folk who pick something up for fun and then five minutes later can’t remember why they have it – or perhaps wake up the next day with a traffic cone in their bed. So there was an upside down, moulded, plastic table outside my flat – fair enough.

This morning I found a large lump of jelly on the bonnet of my car.

That isn’t a sentence I ever thought I would have to write. There is of course a question of why did someone put jelly on my car but what puzzled me more was, how come someone was wandering around with a big lump of jelly?

This question has been bothering me all day. Then, tonight as I passed the aforementioned table I noticed that it had remains of jelly in it. It looks like the base of this table (it could be something else but it looks like a table to me) was used as a giant jelly mould and then dumped in the street, or stolen and abandoned. Subsequently someone decided to ‘liberate’ large lumps of jelly and distribute this among various cars.

What a strange, mad, mental world!

Anyway, now I need to find a car wash.

4 Responses to I’ve been jellied!

  1. GadgetVicar says:

    Are you sure it’s simply jelly? Have you ever seen the early Steve McQueen movie ‘The Blob’? Or ‘Ghostbusters’? Can you be sure that it isn’t some alien entity, or ectoplasm? Surely these explanations are just as plausible as your suggestion of mere vandalism?

  2. Mark says:

    Now did you get video/pictures of this momentus act of yob-culture? Or possibly persecution…

  3. I have an idea who might have done it…perhaps those charming members of the local intelligentsia we were lucky enough to meet last night.

    “speccy geek” was one of the more printable terms they used for me. If only I had the quick wit to use the rejoinder “actually, ha ha! I may be speccy, but I’m not a geek. I’m just going to the church to itemize a number of miscellaneous electronic items for the church accountant, so there!”.

    Question, for discussion: When does vandalism cross into the realms of art?

  4. Chris Leman says:

    Hey Graham, Chris here aka The Scottish Lemon. We must live on the same street as I noticed the white table thing too walking to work the other day. What a small world.

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